She Is A New Chapter
The stories I write will be based on my own experiences. This is the first of hopefully many.
I am going to start by telling you the basics. I am 11-years-old and have an older brother (who’s name I will not say), and our parents are divorced.
My dad has a girlfriend but my mum does not have a boyfriend. I have found it very hard to get my head around the fact they have split. It has been hard but my brother and I are coping.
This is about my dad.
I love my dad very much and could never survive without him, but seeing him with his girlfriend makes me want to cry. My dad's girlfriend is also divorced with two kids. She and her kids are lovely.
I think I don’t like her because she is like a new chapter in my very own life book and I’m not used to reading it yet. I liked the other chapter.
I can never get fully used to change. I remember in primary school (I am now in high school) when our old desks were replaced with new ones and for the rest of my school life I drew on the new ones to make them like the old ones.
Sometimes when I stay at my dad's house we go for a a drive round to his girlfriend's house for dinner and I always feel guilt ridden as all I can think of is my mum, and that this woman and her kids are not related to me, or "I should not be here".
I feel insecure when I am around her and always end conversations with her quickly by asking to go to the toilet or going to look at homework (it is always fake homework that I only bring to get out of conversations).
I spent New Year's Eve with her and her kids and all I could think about was my mum at home alone waiting for midnight to creep in. This memory haunts me.
I started the year with her, but I don’t want to end the year with her.
All I wish for is some advice in the comments below. Thank you.
Family & Relationships >> Separation & Loss >> Divorce
IMAGE: Nathan Csonka Photography
3 Comments – Post a comment
GeoffCLIC
Commented 10 months ago - 3rd July 2012 - 11:11am
This is a great story, your experience is shared by many young people across Wales, it's a very brave thing that you have done sharing it with young Wrexham, you might want to look at the following link >http://www.meiccymru.org/ which will take you to Meic the National 24 hour help line/email/instant messaging service for young people in Wales. Helpful, friendly advisors are on call to help.
Keep writing and thank you for a really important article that tells a story many young people can relate to.
Ihavethecyrusvirusx
Commented 10 months ago - 9th July 2012 - 20:05pm
It's great that you've written this. And honestly, you're not alone. My stepdad has been in my life since I was born. So I've always been used to him being in my life. But when I was 4- going on 5- we all moved into a new house. My mam, stepdad, the dog and me. I hated it at first. It went from where we saw him every day or every other day for a few hours to living with him. All I thought was that "he's taking my mother" and "he's replacing my dad." but over the months that followed, I got used to it. And now, it would be weird without him.
Change is weird and sometimes can be rubbish. But your dad is happy and I believe that you will end up getting along with her and finding her company to be great. Maybe one day, when your dad is busy in the house (cooking, cleaning, whatever) and she's around, maybe you can have a chat and see what things you have in common? Maybe talk about Eastenders (there's a good storyline on if you ask me- I'm dying to know who Kat's secret lover is!) or a holiday you've been on or something? Just something to get the ball rolling.
It may be hard but you just had to be strong and think that your dad is happy and you can be,too. I hope things go well for you and wish you all the best :) xx
BethanTheBarmy
Commented 10 months ago - 12th July 2012 - 14:19pm
I know exactly what you're going through. My parents split up last June and everything has changed for my family. In April, my dad and his girlfriend came to live with me and my mother moved out. I too don't like change, but it does get easier. I made sure some things were kept the same, like my bedroom, and that helped me focus on that rather than the big changes going on around me.
The main thing is to remember that things will get easier. At first it is natural to dislike your dad's girlfriend, but keep reminding yourself that he is happier now and that's important too. I promise, things don't stay like this and you learn to adjust very quickly. It's just a case of being patient and reminding yourself you will get through it.
And don't forget, your parents understand this is a hard time for you and that you shouldn't be afraid to talk to them about it. At first I didn't want to tell my dad how I felt because I didn't want him to feel guilty about it, but once I'd told him he could give me support, accommodate my needs and make he whole thing easier for us both.
:)